Happy Due Date!

Dear Baby,

Happy Due Date! I was sure you were going to be born early and I would have an April baby, but it looks like you will be a May baby after all. My pregnancy with you has been great, I can't complain, but it has been a little harder on my body than my first two pregnancies (because I am getting old!) and at times I have been anxious to be done being pregnant. I have hated feeling that way because I love the miracle of creating life and the closeness I feel having you grow inside me. Last night I was laying in bed thinking about how your due date would be the next day and realizing that this time next week (if not much sooner) I would be holding you on the outside of my body. At that moment you moved softly inside my tummy and I felt such a special feeling of the exact phase of the journey we are on and the beauty of being pregnant with you. I'm excited to meet you, but for now I am going to cherish the amazing experience of carrying you in me and helping you grow with all the good food (and sometimes not so "good") food that I eat. It is nice to have you with me everywhere and to be so connected to you.

I love you baby. I hope to meet you soon!

Love,
Mama

Dear Baby,

It is about time for you to be born. I am ready. Or as ready as I can be. It seems like you have been growing in me forever. It is sweet for me to think back to that day in early August when I learned about you. It was a beautiful day. My grief about losing my sister was still so fresh and the thought of a new life growing inside of me filled me with so much hope and something happy amidst my sorrow. I know God is the one in charge of sending you to me, but it sort of felt like my sister had something to do with it too. And now, nine months later it is time for me to meet you. In a lot of ways I still don't really comprehend that you are coming. Sometimes I look down at my tummy in motion and think in awe that there is a baby in there. I try to wrap my head around it, but I can't. Still, I know that I will love you. Instantly. And more and more each day. I know that you will bring so much joy to my life. I have all the anxiety that comes with welcoming a new baby into your life, but I know that I will never ever regret having you. I already love you. You are already mine.  I will miss you being inside of me, but I will love having you in my arms.

I hope to meet you soon baby!

Love,
Mama

Dear Baby,

Sometimes it hits me that I am going to have a new baby. Like the other day when I was in a meeting at work and you were moving so much that my belly was visibly moving. I was in awe as I watched it and suddenly it hit me: There's a baby in there! You would think that 8 months into the pregnancy I would understand this clearly by now but it is something that is strangely hard to wrap my head around. After the amazement of realizing there is a baby inside my belly comes a new even more powerful realization. You are not just a baby, you are another Max and another Maggie, which is to say that you are a little person that is going to rock my world and weave your way so much into my heart that I will sometimes have to catch my breath when I think of the wonderment that you are mine.

I'll be meeting you soon baby and I am excited! Are you a boy or a girl? Will you have hair? How big will you be? What will your name be? I'm so excited to learn these things and to hold you in my arms and start getting to know the amazing little person that you already are.

I love you baby!!!!!

Love,
Mom

Dear Baby,

I had a doctor's appointment today. I hate to say it (especially because I am number 9. 9!) but by the third pregnancy things start to feel kind of routine. I remember the first OB appointment I went to with my first pregnancy I practically ran to the office I was so excited. I would spend the whole wait time reading baby magazines and thinking about the wonder growing inside me. Now I kind of have it down and I know what to expect. And while I still get excited every time to hear your heartbeat and hear that everything looks good the excitement and wonder is just not the same. I had a really busy day at work today. I thought all about work on my way to Dr Macy's office and my mind was turning some things over when I walked into the building. I walked up the stairs and when I opened the door to the clinic a smell hit me and with it the magic of an OB office returned. It was instant. And awesome. Something about the smell and the atmosphere made me feel like I was there for my first time again. The feeling stayed with me through the entire visit. I loved it. And really, how could something as incredible as growing a baby in your body, feeling the little kicks and movements, creating a human that you will love more than life itself ever become routine? Impossible!

I love you my little miracle! I love that I get to grow you inside of me. I love that you are a unique little human and while I don't know what your specific uniqueness is (or even if you are a boy or a girl) I know that I will love you and give my all to you and be your biggest fan.

Being a mom is an amazing privilege. Thanks for letting me be yours.

I love you!
Mom

Dear Baby,

I am starting to feel you move more and it is so exciting for me. It makes you seem more real. I was worried because I didn't feel you move for the longest time. During my ultrasound they confirmed that the placenta is attached to the front of my uterus which makes it harder to feel the baby. I was so sad to hear this. Feeling the baby move is one of my favorite parts of pregnancy. It is such an amazing feeling. The doctor said I would feel you eventually, but it would always feel a little "blunted" because the placenta is like a big pillow. Now I feel you quite a bit and I love it.

I'm wondering more and more if you are a boy or a girl. I'm not sure I like this whole being surprised thing. I was feeling pretty sure are a boy. But then last night I had a dream that I had a baby girl and now the feeling of a baby girl is fresh in my mind so I'm not sure anymore. I know that either way I will be so happy and I will love you to pieces. Your brother will too, but it might not be as instant of an adjustment for him as it will for me if you are a girl. He is convinced you are a boy. He spent all say in nursery last week telling his teachers about his new little brother that was coming. He was so sure of it that the teachers were surprised to learn that we hadn't actually learned if you were a boy or a girl. But Max loves Maggie to pieces so I am sure that either way you will be loved by him too.

Keep growing baby.  I love you!

Mom

Dear Baby,

This morning I had to be at an early morning meeting across town. Your brother and sister were still sleeping when I left the house so I peaked at them before I left and gave them each a kiss. Then I was in my car on my drive across town and I felt you move. The thought came to my mind, "Good. All three of my kids are safe." It is amazing to me how quickly I started feeling like a mother of three. I think that it was in September, when you were just a few weeks along, and I was at the park with your brother and sister. I looked around the playground and located Max, then Maggie. And then I felt like I needed to locate a third child. I remembered you were still inside me, but that strength of my feeling that I was responsible for three kids overwhelmed me. Dear baby, you are already very much a part of your family.

Love,
Mama